Just to be clear, this is NOT a New Year’s post proclaiming my accomplishments and those of my children in 2013. Nor is it a lengthy list of what I want to do in 2014. I always get a little pensive as a new year rolls around and wanted to share my thoughts with you. But if I can brag just a tiny bit . . . I got my laundry done today! No really, like DONE! It’s the little things, you guys.
I read a great post from Ann Voskamp on New Year’s Eve which resonated with me. Sometimes you don’t want a new year, you want a do-over of the previous one. Preach on, sister, preach on. Okay, so I don’t exactly want a do-over of the entire 2013, just several pieces of it. But seeing how that isn’t possible, I decided to put on my big girl panties and take Ann’s sagely advice to “press on”.
Truth be told, for all the glorious screw ups and mishaps and big fat mistakes I made in 2013, I also learned some incredible lessons, met some amazing people and did a few things really, really right. And God was gracious, as always. His gifts were bountiful. My sight for seeing them is getting a little better.
I believe that we must always charge forward as tempting as it is to just sit down in a huff and say, “No thanks.” I have joked for a long time that I would love some “boring” in my life. I don’t really think that’s true. That’s just my way of saying, “I’m tired.” I don’t do the resolution thing nor do I disguise my resolutions with a list of goals. I just pray earnestly about what God wants to do with me this year. As in, how much more will I surrender this year instead of fastidiously continuing to do things my own way? How much more will I forgive this year? How much more will I look at myself honestly and ask God to reveal the junk that needs to go and the wounds that need healing? How much more am I willing to receive from a Heavenly Father who loves me? Will I have eyes to see and ears to hear? How much more will I lean into His word and learn with my head and my heart?
Because all of those things are in His agenda and will accomplish the desires of my heart – to be a better mom, a better friend, a better employee. I cannot do any of that apart from Christ.
What’s my hardest lesson learned in 2013? There really, really is no true joy apart from God. I tried a lot of things to fill the aching void exacerbated by wounds from my past to bring fulfillment, and it did not work. And I am not talking like I went crazy with sex, drugs and rock n roll. I’m talking running, relationships, dancing, writing, learning, etc. Good things. I tried to stuff so much into my life to fill the lack, and it only left me lacking more. I guess some of you are saying, “Well yeah, duh.” If you learned that lesson a lot easier than I have, good for you. I need to be hit in the head with it about a hundred times before I get it. I have to go beyond agreeing with it and believe God. I have to believe Him, and it’s come to my attention that I need to trust Him. That’s always what is at the heart of my unwillingness to obey – Lack of trust.
If I really had to say THIS is what I want for 2014, it’s this:
“But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead . . . I press on toward the goal for the prize for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
Praying you all press on this year with me . . . I believe we have a good year ahead. Happy 2014!