We went a month without internet. That’s my only excuse for my absence. I could blame my life in general, but hey, that’s never stopped me before. Third trip from the cable company and two new modems later, I think we’re golden. Only time will tell.
I got my daily email today that a new post had gone up on A Holy Experience. I read it and dang it, started to cry. Ann has a way of speaking straight to my heart and cutting to the quick in a way that unnerves me. I choose wisely when to read her posts. Today’s “A Life Plan when You’re Overwhelmed …” Hello.
Overwhelmed seems to be too nice a word for what I am feeling today. A bit of bad news, an unsettling email, a house that seems to get dirtier the harder I try to clean it, the realization that I do not have as much money as I hoped I did, jeans that are too snug for comfort, a twinge in my knee during my run yesterday, a kid with a suspicious fever and no other symptoms, ad nauseam. Or nauseated. Or both.
I just want to crawl into a corner and get into the fetal position and cry out, “Uncle!” Any of you feel me?
I scan through Ann’s “25 for Sanity Manifesto” . . . breathe in, breathe out. I can do this. What I can’t do: keep the plates spinning. A) because anyone who knows me knows that I am incredibly klutzy and B) because I know myself and how I don’t even have a desire to keep it all together anymore. He holds it all together. Colossians 1:17 “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” Good to know that the world won’t fall apart because I occasionally do. What I can do: the things on this list. I can continue to find the gifts, which always puts everything into perspective. Just saying His sweet name out loud, singing a hymn of praise while knee-deep in laundry – ya’ll it’s not warm fuzzy mumbo jumbo, it’s truth straight to your heart that has a way of settling in and making things right even when they’re not.
And I look over and the cat, Vincent, God bless him – he’s curled up into the side of my middle child who’s napping and praise God, her fever’s broken. My youngest is playing in her bedroom by herself and amazingly, is not tearing the place to shreds. The laundry’s almost done, and all that’s left to do is dishes.My son looks as me and says, “Hey mommy, I love you.”
As Ann says, “Forward!” FORWARD.