Mama Musings



It’s hard to believe that the summer is nearly half over.  I remember when they seemed to stretch on into eternity with the new school year just peeking over a distant horizon. Now, it’s just months of heat, vacations and swimming pools, oh and enormous electric bills, but thank ya Jesus for the A/C!

It seems crazy to me that just 2 weeks ago we were taking Lyla to the hospital, that my heart seemed about to break and then God just scooped us right up and carried us through it.  I have to tell you the change in our little girl is almost staggering. It brings me joy and brings on an inevitable wave of guilt every time she flashes her toothless grin.  I just wonder how long she was hungry for?  If I could have realized sooner than I did that she wasn’t getting what she needed.  And I still feel sad that for some odd reason, what I had just wasn’t enough. But there she goes smiling like crazy again and all that guilt gets washed away.

I told a friend tonight that it is absolutely wonderful to hear other people comment on what a happy baby Lyla is. The girl smiles at anyone and everyone, especially other kids.  I suspect she thinks that other children are here solely for her entertainment since Jonah is a constant sideshow.

I walked into their bedroom tonight and just watched them sleep.  Watching a young child sleep is just about the sweetest thing in the world.  They sleep so peacefully without worries, without anxiety, just pure rest. I just look at the two of them and I am filled to the brim with joy.

 I never really had aspirations to be a mom when I was little.  When I got to be a teenager and then in college, I wanted to get married but kids never really crossed my mind. People always ask if my kids were planned or not.  Sure, they were planned . . .  just not by me!

So I am off to bed now to get a little rest before baby girl wakes up for her midnight meal. As groggy as I am sure to be, I want to cherish these moments because I look at Jonah who is almost 5 now and I know all too well how quickly time goes by.


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