It is so very late, and I should by all means be asleep by now, but I have been writing articles for the past 3 hours, and my brain just isn’t ready to shut down.
My walk with God used to be very much like a roller-coaster. Can you relate? One minute I’m up – yay! God is so good, life is so wonderful and then SPLAT! I’m face down on the pavement having a full-scale pity party. How tiresome.
Thank goodness for time and maturity which is hardly my doing but rather the result of a lot of tough love from the Father. I feel like I’m finally getting to this point in my relationship with Him where I am really walking with Him rather than the toddler-like antics I was so prone to – running away (or attempting to), distraction, falling behind, or just falling asleep. I look back and think that God most certainly is good – ALL the time!
So the past few days starting on Thursday evening have felt like I was climbing back into that roller coaster seat again. I tried not to let my circumstances smother my joy, but man it’s been rough. Without going into detail, our little family is experiencing a bit of a crisis – no worries, we’re all fine. It’s just that there are some things that need to change, we’ve known this for some time, but sometimes we need a swift kick in the pants to get us there. We needed to come to the end of ourselves and our rope before we could get a clear view on things. God always seems much obliged to provide that sort of perspective, isn’t He?
My mom called today. Disastrous! I have told her before that she must possess some crazy magical powers because I can just hear her voice and start bawling uncontrollably. Even at almost 30, I just need my mama sometimes. So she barely got out, “So how are you?” before I began to wail, and the strange part is that she didn’t at all seem suprised by this even though I had not spoken with her in days. Through the course of my tear-ridden conversation I realized that God was meeting a need and sowing hope into our situation. I had been praying scriptures all day about peace and before I knew it, it was crashing over me.
John 14:27 says “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”
So I know this is scatterbrained, but today made me think of this really amazing song by Sara Groves called It Might be Hope. I love this song because it urges me to turn on that willing suspension of disbelief that I so badly need and to intentionally look for the hope God spreads throughout the day.
Don’t despair – just keep looking . . . “Hope has a way of turning it’s face to you just when you least expect it /you walk in a room/you look out a window /and something there leaves you breathless/you say to yourself /it’s been a while since I felt this/but it feels like it might be hope” – Sara Groves, Tell Me What You Know