When we last left off I was a post-preggo, flabby mess. Hmmmm, not much has changed there, ha! I avoided the mirror for quite awhile after giving birth to Jonah, which wasn’t hard to do because we new mommies are pretty busy and pretty enamored with our gorgeous babies.
Who has time to bemoan the loss of your formerly glorious self (however true or not that may be) when you’re feeding, burping, changing, playing with, and begging little one to sleep? Oh, and somewhere in there you spend time with the spouse, interact with other people, pray – a lot, and maybe eat and sleep. So at least for the first few months of Jonah’s life – the weight thing wasn’t a huge issue. (no pun intended)
But when the newly-mom shine wore off and I did look in a mirror – Whoo boy! It was a bit shocking. One thing is pretty universal for most women after childbirth, and I do emphasize most not all. Some girls either by good genes or good fortune, because I do not buy the cocoa butter myth – I swam in the stuff and still look like an atlas, come away unscathed by stretch-marks. Oh the horror! I’ve known itty-bitty, thin gals with their share of stripes to bear and bigger gals like myself who look like they have purple tire-tracks in various unseemly places.
Anyway, that was just a fraction of the shock of the post-preggo body. Still, I looked myself square in the eye and said, “You will get your butt in shape. You will behave!” My poor body was scared!
So I began my eventful journey of what I like to call my “dungeon of diets.” Years of torturing myself in various ways in hopes of whipping myself back into a shape I could recognize and appreciate. I honestly cannot even remember all the kooky stuff I tried with the exception of pills or powders and starvation – there are just some places I will not go to fit into a size 10 again.
On your left you will see my time spent with the South Beach Diet. Like Atkins with more veggies. I think I lost 5 lbs, give or take, but I just love my bread too much I guess.
Walking forward and to the right is a time of working out every other day (which I actually really liked – I enjoy working out!) while not paying a lick of attention to the fact that whilst I attempted to work my pudge away, I ate and ate and ate. No portion control, never mind the sugary binges and countless late-night snacks – I had the idea that if I worked out enough I could just eat whatever I wanted. Hey, I never said I was any good at math.
Up ahead is my first go at Weight-watchers. I was very motivated. Attended most meetings, preached the gospel of points to all my friends as a way of holding myself accountable and even watched some of them succeed with it. I lost 15 lbs and was feeling pretty sassy til I got tired of counting points all the time and became a drop-out.
I went back to working out a lot and trying to watch what I ate, and for awhile I did okay. Then I got an intensely more stressful job which means that the emotional eating volume knob was cranked about 5 more notches. I gained enough to not be able to fit in my clothes. Good thing we had a uniform at work – but what little fashion I had at home took quite a dive, as did my confidence.
So what did I do? I tried Weight watchers, again. This time on-line. You must admit, I am persistent! I think I lost 8 lbs that time and then began training for a half marathon. Now this is where I do jump off the crazy cycle for at least a moment. I actually did not do the half-marathon to lose weight. A friend was doing it so I thought it was something I would like to accomplish. The training was hard, but fun. I got into great shape and while I didn’t lose much weight, I did lose some inches and gained confidence. It was one of the most exhilarating times of my life. If only that “high” could have lasted . . .