A Likely Story

Until you have to explain it to a class of 3 and 4 year olds.  And suddenly I become much dumber than I thought. 

Obviously the past two days have been enormously significant in our nation’s history, and even though the kids in my class are young, I thought I should at least attempt an explanation of Martin Luther King Jr. Day and the Inaguaration of President Barack Obama to them.  In hindsight, I should have thought it out more.  Yet, my blunders make for good blogging.

First we have Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  I thought this would be an easy one to explain until I realized that I would also need to explain what a civil right was . . . to a 4 year old.  So I tell them that there was a preacher named Martin Luther King who helped to make sure that everyone no matter what color their skin could eat, drink, live, go to school, work, etc. wherever they wanted.  It might be good to note (in case you’re not around many pre-schoolers) that preschoolers are for the most part completely oblivious to skin color.  They don’t care; why does it matter?  I love this about small kids. As I am attempting to explain this as they are staring at me I realize that it’s awful hard to tell preschoolers about civil rights when they themselves don’t really have a say about anything they do.  I can just see it now, “Mommy, Ms. Crystal says we have civil rights to eat where we want – I want to go to McDonald’s!” 

So I then I ask if they realize that we have a new president . . . surely their parents have mentioned this?  Guess not. One kid.  One kid knew this.  I did think that was a little sad.  So how did I in my eloquence explain an inaguaration?  A big party saying, “Yay!  You’re President!”  The kids found this to be a perfectly acceptable answer. 

Real definition of inauguration:  An inauguration is a ceremony of formal investiture whereby an individual assumes an office or position of authority or power.

Too bad the kids have no idea what a president does.  Sigh.  Oh well, moving on to the letter P, the number 20 and the day of the week.

Is it just me or is the TV lineup for the spring a bit strange?  We always struggle over what to watch since everything seems to overlap and we do not have DVR (hey, we just got MP3 players this year!).  One one channel you have the Bachelor, a single dad – and honestly, this show has never appealed to me.  Then you have the Superstars of Dance, eh, pass.  We did admittingly watch True Beauty the other night.  It was scary. 

Since my incredibly shrinking husband gets super motivated from The Biggest Loser, that was an obvious choice even though I really wanted to watch Scrubs. I was actually shocked at how BIG the contestants are this go round.  Wow.  I was a little scared for some of them and then got to thinking about my own (well documented) struggles with weight over the past 4 years.  I told Jason that I would do great on the show if Jillian was my trainer because a) I am scared of her  and b) I am a teacher’s pet at heart and would literally puke before stopping.  But by the looks of the show now, I am not near large enough even pre-preggo to go on so I will be looking to Jason to help me hopefully shed the post-preggo pounds for good. 

I also mentioed to Jason that having a little girl is also serving as a motivator for me.  I don’t want her to grow up thinking that it is okay to be unhealthy just because you’re too lazy (speaking of ME here) to really make a change.  Even before getting pregnant, I was tired of being tired.  Tired of not feeling good.  I know, I know this is really early to start talking about this, but no plan is a bad plan, right?!

Since Jonah was in bed we decided to watch one more show before turning in and found that they had turned one of my favorite ABC specials What Would You Do? into a prime-time series.  I love this show because it always gets Jason and I talking, even though some of it was hard to watch.  Namely, two Latino day laborers walk into a New Jersey deli (they’re actors) and are treated with extreme bias and prejudice by the man behind the counter (also an actor) who assumes they are illegal aliens. 

It was encouraging to see how many people stood up and said, “No!  This isn’t right.  How dare you talk to them like that?!” and sad to see the people who encouraged the rude deli worker and even told the two Latino men to go somewhere else where they speak “Mexican.”  After watching that segment Jason and I came to this conclusion that a couple of other bystanders on the show also expressed:  No matter what your opinion is of the immigration issues our country faces, it never, ever gives anyone a right to treat people like trash.  Like one woman, an immigrant from another country working on her citizenship said, “God put us all on this earth.  No matter where you are from or where you are, you’re still a person.”

I’m traumatized ya’ll.  What started out last night as a pleasant evening complete with homemade quesadillas and what I have dubbed “As Good as It Gets for You Guacamole” quickly spiraled into a tantrum-filled mess. 

What started the craziness?  Fingernails.  The mind of a four-year-old really is a mysterious thing.  What was not a big deal last year, or last month for that matter is now a very big deal.  Fingernails.  About a month ago I noticed that Jonah’s were starting to look Freddy Kruegerish.  So I mentioned to Jonah that we needed to clip his nails, and he responded with a rather loud protest and ran away.  I shrugged it off as Jonah being strange – because anyone with a four-year-old knows that odd, erratic behavior is actually pretty normal.  I should have gotten a clue in this case!

Last night at dinner I noticed that his fingernails really were looking gross.  It was time.  So after Jonah got on his jammies I got out the clippers, lotion – the works, attempting to make it a “fun” expereince.  Ha.  As soon as Jason sat him down to get it over with our usually compliant child went into an absolute fit screaming, and I mean SCREAMING, “No!  No! No!  I don’t want to!  You’ll hurt me!  I want to go to bed!”  This was accompanied by an impressive show of strength as he thrashed, kicked and did everything in his power to run away.

I don’t get it.  I’m the only one who has ever clipped his nails, and I don’t recall ever accidentally clipping off any fingers or hurting him at all for that matter. We tried to rationalize with him.  We started to get peeved and took away some of his toys . . . I knew that we weren’t going to win this one when he began to voluntarily give away his things to get out of the nail clipping. 

After a stern lecture from each of us on why it is never okay to scream bloody murder in your parents’ faces, we put Jonah to bed and clipped his nails once he was asleep.  We live in a townhouse/duplex, and I am praying that my neighbors aren’t convinced that we spent the evening torturing our kid. 

After Jason and I straggled downstairs he says, “Well I think we’ve learned two important lessons here.  You can’t reason with a four-year-old and clip his nails when he’s asleep.”  Well said, my man.  Well said.

Hello friends.  It’s cold here!  While it’s late, and I should be in bed I just wanted to share some randomness with you.

*Jason had me read this little Max Lucado book called The Christmas Candle.  What a neat story.  If you are looking for a quick, Christmasy read, I suggest it. 

*Our Christmas tree is dying.  Sigh.  Jason has made fun of our tree from the start while I admantly defended it.  But truth be told, it does have a gangsta lean and despite our faithful watering, it has most definitely taken a turn for the worse.  Please pray our tree makes it till Christmas Day.  After that, it’s off to be be recylcled.  We will go back to the fake tree next year.

*Lyla is seriously rocking the uterus.  Baby!  We are now at week 26 and according to What to Expect she is opening her eyes, performing acrobatics (no joke!) and weighs about 2 lbs.  There is nothing more freaky and funny than watching my belly as Lyla appears to be turning flips.  When there’s nothing on TV, this serves as good backup entertainment.

*Today as I was attempting to get Jonah in his coat to go home from school as he ran around me in circles I said, “What do YOU think the right choice is here?”  He stopped, thought it out and replied, ” To run!  No wait, that’s not right.”  At least he’s honest.

*Michelle triumphed over the meanies on the Biggest Loser tonight!  While I was not thrilled that Heba (one of the meanies) won the $100K, it was sweet victory to see Michelle beat out Vicky and Ed.  While I love this show, the next season looks a little scary.  The people just keep getting BIGGER and some older.  Will they feature the 1000 lb man at some point?

*My neighbor came by this afternoon to let me know she’ll be out of town for a few days and could we keep an eye on her place?  Since our last neighbors were sort of standoffish with a very LOUD dog who barked incessantly at 1 or 2am, I was thrilled.  These neighbors are still pretty new and are friendly.  Yay!  I think I’ll make them some cookies. 

*A very special package came for me today – my Bare Minerals makeup from my sister Savanah who works for Sephora.  I have very high hopes that I can look less crappy from now on – I might even post one of those before and after pics to see what you think!

I can’t believe it; there are no more articles to write!  At least for a while anyway . . . so I get to blog and not feel guilty.  Yay.  Today;s big project is cleaning (really cleaning) the house.  So, I am hoping for some nesting instinct to kick in a little to make things a bit easier.  Cleaning always goes faster when done in a manic state!

What I present to you this morning are a list of my wandering thoughts for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

• I was sad this morning to discover that yet again, I forgot to soak the beans for 15 bean soup over night.  I was looking forward to that too!  My plan of attack:  a giant green post-it reading:  SOAK THE BEANS!
• I am reading another great book, and I must give credit where credit it due.  Thanks, Mandy!  I am finally reading Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen.  For some reason I was reluctant to check this out.  Perhaps I was waiting for the tidal wave of early pregnancy hormones to subside so I could read it without having a breakdown.  I’m 91 pages in after a day and have to make myself put it down.  It’s really enthralling.  How does she do it?
• Jonah ate squash last night – willingly.  I had one of those moments where I wanted to call my friends and brag about it, and then had the sense to get ahold of myself.  It’s just squash, but I somehow hope that it is a sign that I am a decent parent after all and/or that my child might just grow up making healthy choices.  Then he asked for, begged for candy as he batted his eyelashes at me, and it occurred to me that the squash may have all been a ploy to placate so he could eat candy.  Sigh.  Supermom moment over. 
• I watched the Today show do a piece on Sarah Pailin’s, Michelle Obama, and Cindy McCain’s wardrobes this morning.  Maybe I have been watching too much Bravo! but I actually thought to myself, “$150K for a wardrobe isn’t as outrageous for clothing as they’re making it sound.”  Now hear me out, I think $150k for clothes is ridiculous but I know that celebrities can spend that on a few outfits, easy.  Just watch The Rachel Zoe Project.  Seriously though, do they really expect the potential VP or first lady for that matter, to shop at TJ Maxx?  Yeah, right.  So Michelle Obama says she shops at J. Crew.  Sure, for Jay Leno, but let’s see if she’s making a run to Macy’s for a presidential ball?  I doubt it.  And for that matter, how come no one’s asking how much Barak’s, McCain’s or Biden’s suits cost?!  I highly doubt they got theirs at Khol’s either.  Sigh.  It’s just annoying.
• We’ve only had our new landline phone for a week, and we’re already getting telemarketing calls. I am slightly impressed at how quick on the draw they are, and curious.  Oh well.  Another number to register on the do-not-call list.

Well friends, the electrician just called to say that he is on the way.  I guess I will brush my hair afterall.