The King is Coming

Something has shifted. God is calling me deeper still, and I find myself resisting, tempted to give in to the old ways, the remnants of the old self . . . that rotting carcass of a person whose habits don’t die easily. I’m still so drawn to the temporary, the tangible, the  shiny.  I need lent this year. Desperately.

A dear friend made a timely observation yesterday saying, “You are the kind of person who likes to check things off your list, and this . . . tendency to wander and be distracted from Him, you can’t check that off.”  The thorn in my side, if you will. (2 Cor. 12:7)

Truthfully, this is my favorite time of year. I do love Christmas: the wonder, the mystery, the hope . . . but Easter, oh Easter. Easter is the fulfillment of the promise. The hope fulfilled in all the beauty, gore, wretchedness and lavish love of the cross. At Christmas, Christ comes and the world takes a deep breath, “Hope, sweet hope.” At Easter the world either turns its face away from or falls face-down in front of what my pastor calls the worst and best news – the cross. The cross is the worst news in that our sin really is THAT bad. It is the best news in that He really did pay the price for it, ONCE and for ALL.  It is horror and love all wrapped up in a singular moment.

A couple of days ago, as I’m doing my study for Lent – I read about the King who is coming in John 12. He rides into the city on the back of a young donkey, and the people spread out palm branches and their own coats before Him shouting, “Hosanna!  The King is coming!”

Does that take anyone else’s breath away?

Let’s journey together, friends, this season of Lent as we celebrate the coming of the Lord. Let’s turn our faces to the cross and be drawn to it this year. Let’s be changed. Let’s do what a dear friend of mine calls the narrowing. . . . as a praise and worship band from my camp days used to sing:

“Just Jesus and nothing more.”

Jam on It

In the glory days of yesteryear (college ) I attended my share of concerts and gigs. No venue too far, no volume too loud, no night too late  . . . I was young(er) and living it up.

Living it up is a little harder at 32 than it was at 22.

Last weekend I ventured out with the fantastic Mr. Matt  to Winterjam in OKC.  Neither of us had ever been, and WOW. What an amazing show it was!  Go here for Matt’s take on it. We froze, met up with some friends I have not seen in ages, got our faces (nearly literally) melted off and worshiped God with several thousand other believers.  Good times!

So, when we realized that the show would be in Oklahoma again the following weekend, in Tulsa,  we jumped at the chance to go again. However, we would be prepared this time. I’ve seen several Winterjam survival guides, but I have a few items of my own to add for a successful Winterjam-out.

1. Check the weather and be prepared. If you want good seats you have to wait. And wait you shall. Outside. For an hour, or two or in yesterday’s case, nearly 3.  And since you’re waiting outside, dress comfortably. T-shirt, hoodies, tennis shoes – good. Dresses, six-inch heels, tuxedos – bad

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2. Food – be prepared. We ate lunch right before heading over to the BOK Center in Tulsa, but I also came prepared. Guys, if you are going with a gal – make sure she brings the BIG PURSE.  In my case, meet Mary . .. as in the Mary Poppins purse. She holds it all . . . lip gloss, phone, Kleenex, sunglasses, FOOD, money, camera, my Nook . . . possibly a living room suite – you get the idea.

3. Make line buddies.  We met up with four 20-somethings from Broken-Arrow, Audrey, Jessica, Caleb and Justine. We spent about an hour and a half getting to know this fabulous little group before spilling into the BOK center and running (or rather I was pulled along) for seats. By serendipity we ended up sitting with our line buddies!  Yay!  They provided fun conversation, dancing/jumping buddies and seat savers for bathroom breaks, and in return I provided them with snacks from my stash.

Although this was the same lineup of artists, same songs . . . it was different!  Hate to say it, but the Tulsa crowd was a little crazier (in a good way!) and LOUDER.  I am partially deaf now. Glad I bothered to learn sign language while I was in college. Ha ha. But seriously, when we weren’t rocking out, we were worshiping. He surely does inhabit the praises of His people. (Psalms 22:3)

Today, I am a sad tired woman in need of a nap and wishing I had used ear plugs . . . but totally worth it!  This show will be a yearly adventure for sure!

Pink and Red Dread

It’s Valentine’s Day. Take a moment to get the sighing, eye-rolling and scowling out of your system. All done? Head over and re-read my post: Pink and Red Dread and be blessed today, remembering that the lover of your soul never sleeps nor slumbers, that while you and I were dead in our sin, oblivious to our wretched state, He died for us, making all the beautiful wonderful gifts of God available to us (Romans 5:6-8).

I love you all, sweet friends, I do not discount the hurt that accompanies days like today for some, but I encourage you to lift up your head and see Him today. Palms up, friends. It’s the only way to live.

 

XXOO,

 

Crystal

Let’s Catch up!

Oh what a week – WHAT a week!  After looking over my most recent posts, I feel that it is high time for a little lighter fare. Wouldn’t you agree?

Despite all the seriousness around these here parts, la loca vida still marches on.

Case in point:

We finished phase one of potty training with Lyla.  Ahem, I finished phase one of potty training with Lyla. And now we move to phase two, which includes instances of Lyla having to pee while in the checkout line at Target, Lyla having to pee while driving somewhere and generally Lyla having to pee at any moment that is completely inconvenient. My new most used phrase: HOLD IT!

As you may know, I started a complete lifestyle change in late December in order to achieve overall wellness. It’s been a really cool journey thus far, not only because I have lost a good deal of weight and I feel amazingly better, but I have also incorporated more time with the Lord in the morning (as in first thing) . . . wellness really is something you cannot compartmentalize. To really be well, it must be the soul, mind and body. (I believe I’ll have some posts on this later!)

In conjunction with my new wellness function (ha ha) I have also become a total Zumba freak (er…addict?) All my Zumba gals, holla!  It’s crazy fun and a sick workout. I mean drenched. I started at home on the Wii and then began attending classes at the local YMCA. If you are a serious life-long dance junkie like I am, Zumba is a good way to work that out!

I’m finishing up One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (more on that later) and next on the list is 7 by Jen Hatmaker.  Expect to hear about this one from me. “7 is an experimental mutiny against excess . . . (a) true story of how Jen took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence.”  Stop wincing.

Okay so . . . April 7th – I will run, yes RUN, my first 5K. I started C25K last week. Partly I want to run because it’s something I said I would never do, and I hate when I say things like that. Partly, it’s for fitness. Mostly, it’s something I want to accomplish. A good friend of mine is helping me to train and will be running with (and hopefully not laughing at) me. Prayers, please.

Jonah has started reading on his own, by himself. It freaks me out. I just don’t know what to make of this big kid sitting on the couch quietly reading a book. Where did my baby go?!  Doesn’t he want me to read it TO him? Oh no, he says, “That’s okay, Mommy. I can read it.”  Excuse me while I go weep in a corner. This growing up junk is hard.

Then there’s Jules and Lyla. Oy. The squabbling. I know my mother laughs so hard her ribs hurt when I complain about their constant fighting. Peeps without kids, beware. Remember that curse your mother put on you . . . you know what I’m talking about, the “I hope one day that you have kids that act just like you!”?? Yeah, it’s come to pass in my house. All those years of exchanging blows, hair pulling, tattling and screaming with/at my sisters? It’s staring me in the face. To which my mother replies, “I just don’t know what to tell you babe!”

Happy weekend friends!  Thanks as always for reading my little piece of internet. XOXO

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Movie Review: Courageous

Fatherless. According to numerous studies and polls from various sources, findings show that 40-50% of children in the United States either live apart from their fathers or will live apart from their fathers before the age of 18. The statistics describing the myriad of troubling issues associated with living apart from a dad are enough to make you want to cry and start praying, hard. And as a single mom, I’ve done (and still do) both.

Which brings me to the movie I rented tonight. I’ve heard about Courageous for many, many months; I have watched the other films by the Kendricks and Sherwood Baptist and loved them. I don’t need Oscar quality acting . . . but I am drawn to a beautiful message, and it doesn’t get any better than the message of God’s Word.

Even still, I admit that I have drug my feet on this one.  Why? I didn’t want to sit through a movie telling me how doomed by kids are by living in a home without a dad present. I should have known better than to judge a movie by its cover.

Courageous is not just a movie about fathers or fatherlessness. It’s a movie about the beautiful love of Christ and its power to transform. It’s about the heart of God THE FATHER and His will for earthly fathers. It’s a plea to not, “Fall asleep at the wheel” and for men all over to mentor and support children living in a home without dad. It’s not hopeless, far from it.

Statistics may be what they are, but I entrusted my children to God a long time ago. For He knows the plans He has for their lives . . . plans to give them a hope and a future. (Jer 29:11)

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? . . .  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,t neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)

This movie made me hit my knees in prayer for my kids, for their dad and for the wonderful church family, family and godly mentors the Lord has placed in my kids’ lives.

A word to the wise: a whole box of Kleenex is advisable. I didn’t just tear up a time or two. On no, I had the ugly cry. Bless you Lord that I watched this alone. No one should have to see me in this state!

 

More Thanks

I wish I could say that the thanks-living has gotten easier. The truth is that the smoother life goes, the less likely I am to pay attention to the details. I slip into routine and relax into the comfortable gait of my everyday, simply forgetting His gifts. I’m much more thankful, more aware – in adversity. For the longest time, adversity is the only normal I knew.

I’m frustrated at my wandering heart. I don’t mean to wander, I just do. Sounds a lot like someone I know (Romans 7:15) Do I really need to be reminded that I need Him every hour, not just when plans crumble and hearts hurt? And yet, again I am reminded that my experiences do not control my faith, my joy, my actions . . .

Good old Oslwald says this, “Very few of us really know what it means to be held in the grip of the love of God. We tend so often to be controlled simply by our own experience. The one thing that gripped and held Paul, to the exclusion of everything else, was the love of God. ‘The love of Christ compels us . . . .’ When you hear that coming from the life of a man or woman it is unmistakable. You will know that the Spirit of God is completely unhindered in that person’s life.”

That’s my prayer today, to be held in a vise by the love of Christ. With that, here are some of my recent 1000 Gitfts:

#90 Taking communion with Jonah for the first time.

#92. A friend who prays at a moment’s notice.

#97. Picnic dinner in the living room.

#98. The beautiful navy blue and yellow patchwork quilt from Nanny

#101. Waking up smiling from a happy dream

#107. Psalm 121

 

 

Pink and Red Dread

In two weeks it will be Valentine’s Day. This little holiday produces such a vast array of reactions. Hope, fear, excitement, disappointment, joy, grief, feigned apathy . . .  I’ve been in all of those categories. I’m attempting to take a proactive approach this year to take the bite out of a holiday that, for me, has come with sharp edges over the years.

In middle school, who didn’t want to get balloons and carnations delivered to your class? How heartbreaking is it for the scrawny little 7th grader with an empty desk, yearning for the days of elementary school when everyone getting a valentine was mandatory?

In high school it always happened that I was not dating anyone on Valentine’s Day. Bummer. So, no wilting carnations, helium-filled balloons, plastic wrapped chocolates or dollar store stuffed animals . . . oh c’mon, high school boys have no money!  It was not that much of a let down at that point in time.

In college I decided to try the feigned apathy approach, making fun of conversation hearts and even renaming the holiday S.A.D. “Single Awareness Day.”

And throughout my adult life so far, it has not been much better. As comedian Jim Gaffigan tweeted this week, “How about a holiday all about awkwardness and failed expectations?” – pitch for Valentines Day.”  That about sums up my experience.

Now here we are again. Another February, and just what do I do with Valentine’s Day? My plans so far do not include pouting, whining or feeling sorry for myself.  How about using it as a day to uber-focus on loving others? Random acts of kindness? Extreme gratitude?

How about a Valentine’s to reflect on the greatest act of love every expressed on this earth – the cross. God’s only son dying for wicked, ungrateful people so that we might live? A love so mysterious  and so divine, so unfathomable and crazy. A love that cannot, could not ever be expressed in a Hallmark card. Amazing love.

So friend, if you’re like me and are expecting an empty mailbox February 14th, take heart. “For God so loved YOU that He gave His one and only son so that whoever believes in Him might not perish but will have eternal life.”  (John 3:16)

THAT is better than any heart-shaped box of candy, any day, I guarantee it.